Faith For Fertility – Part 3

I thank God for the opportunity and privilege to share my testimony. God has really been so Good and I just had to share and make known His Goodness.

There is only one part left to this testimony but I have received a few questions so after the concluding part, I would have a post answering your questions. Please send me an email (foodie@mogeeathome.com) if you would like a specific question answered.

For now, the story continues…

I was truly happy. I had Joy and Peace. I had consistently and continuously asked God for a Joy that He alone could give and I had it. I don’t recall the exact moment it happened or how it happened but something was just different and I knew it. These words by Sarah Young in the devotional ‘Jesus Calling’ best describes God’s perspective, (I guess)

‘Then when the time is right, the way before you suddenly clears – through no effort of your own. What you have longed for and worked for I present to you freely, as pure gift.’

This happened sometime in early November. All along, I had been seeking God more and yearning more for Him. Don’t get me wrong, I was definitely not perfect. I still had days that the only thing I would say to God was ‘Good morning’ and I would be ’too busy’ to pray. The difference however was that I truly wanted to know God better, genuinely from my heart. I was not trying to play Christianity. I wanted the true Father-Daughter relationship. And for the first time in my whole Christian life, I was getting introduced to the God of Love. It was at this point I knew God wanted me to share the testimony I shared in January 2015 but I really struggled in my Spirit to share it. After all, people normally shared testimonies after they have their children not before. What exactly was the testimony I was even sharing…my Joy? It was more than that though. I wanted people to know they didn’t have to feel trapped and they could be truly happy and find true Joy in God if they decided to seek Him more. They didn’t have to live with the guilt and shame; they could come to know this God of Love that can give true Joy.

The Holy Spirit, I believe had told me that sharing my testimony was the final release God needed from me but I just didn’t have the courage to share the testimony. I decided I would wait till we were pregnant then I would testify. You see, the Holy Spirit is so sweet and gentle. He doesn’t force us to do anything we don’t want to do. He wasn’t going to force me but unfortunately, I didn’t know that I was only delaying things for myself.

A few weeks after our Dallas trip I decided to contact my Houston clinic to find out why the records showed we had 3 frozen embryos when they had informed us we had only one. At the appointment, the doctor gave us a very interesting story as to the reason we had 3 frozen embryos. He said that if we recalled correctly, he had said there were 2 embryos which were slow morulas as at Day 5 and that normally they would throw the embryos away. However at the time we did our cycle, they decided to experiment based on new research and thus, kept the embryos till Day 7 to see if they would grow any further. He said they were very surprised that by Day 7, the slow morulas had become ‘perfect blactocysts’ and so they froze them along with the initial blactocysts already air marked for freezing. We were the first batch they decided to conduct this experiment on. Isn’t God amazing!!! At this point, should I not have known that He had great plans? The doctor wanted us to arrange a time to have a frozen embryo transfer but we had vacations booked and it was coming up to the Christmas holiday so we just told him we would come back sometime at the end of January, after all our vacation.

On the 31^st of December 2014, we went to church for the watch night service. I remember being very restless in my Spirit and God kept telling me I had to share the testimony. I can’t explain it but it seemed there was an urgency for me to share it. I then decided that I would share it but I told God that since He wanted me to do it, He would have to make sure my husband agreed with me sharing our story. After all, I was not the only one whose privacy was being invaded. My husband is very private so I wasn’t sure he would be comfortable with the whole thing. Well, as soon as we got home from church, I asked him if I could share our testimony. He had also noticed the changes in me…..I was happier, had more joy, I was at peace. He agreed. He didn’t even try to argue. The only thing He asked was for him to read it before I posted it on the internet. I definitely wasn’t going to post anything without him reading it first. So I stayed up all night writing out the testimony. He read it and was happy and even encouraged by it.

When I posted the testimony on my blog at the early hours on January 2, 2015, I cannot describe the kind of release I felt. I had never felt such a thing before. It was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders, literally. As much as I wanted to use that testimony to encourage others, I think it even did more for me. I understood better now what the Bible meant when it said ‘To obey is better than sacrifice’. God had been asking for this act of obedience but I was postponing it. I wanted to see the miracle done first. What if Abraham had waited to see the lamb before binding Isaac to the altar? God wanted to know that I wasn’t going to withhold anything from Him. This was the act God wanted from me because little did I know He wanted to take me on a new journey with him – The Journey of Faith.  

Before I begin talking about this Journey of Faith, I want to let you know that not everyone was pleased with the fact that I shared my testimony. To some, the testimony was not complete. After all, there was no child yet. For me, I already had my testimony. The Bible talks about Peace that surpasses all human understanding. That is exactly what I was experiencing, something so indescribable that I couldn’t understand having any greater peace or joy. This Christian race is definitely a personal one, this is another thing I have learnt in my journey. Not everyone would understand where you are, where you are coming from or where you are going. I had always looked at a few people I know have been seeking God for the gift of children for even more years than I had and wondered why they were always so happy and it seemed like they were no longer bothered about having children. I now understand that they obviously have the Peace only God can give. They definitely want to have children (and they will) but the testimony they have is greater and deeper.

My friend had recommended a book to me titled “The Faith Study Course by Kenneth Hagin”.  Somehow, I was prompted to pick up the book and begin using it as part of my quiet time. I bought the book two or three months prior to this time and it had been sitting on my dresser table gathering dust until now. I had been seeking God more and I guess He knew I was ready for the things He was about to teach me. The Bible says “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you”.  God truly honours His Word. He was going to ‘add unto me’ but I needed to be ready. I wish I could remember the exact date I picked up this book just because my life has literally not been the same ever since. If you can get the book, please get it. It is available on Amazon and if you are in Lagos, I have been told it is available at Laterna Bookshop.

I don’t want to go into too much detail about what the book says but I would explain what God showed me through the things I read in the book. The book basically was challenging my understanding of Faith and Hope. According to the book, Faith is Now while Hope is in the Future. If you notice, I have been highlighting places where I made statements that read ‘…..going to…’ or ‘…hoping…’.

I had been hoping for a child all this while. Hope is good, but you have to give substance to the thing(s) you hope for and that is where faith comes in. It is faith that really activates God’s Power and brings about a miracle. If you notice that all the while I was writing the story, I kept saying God is going to do it. ‘Going to’ is a future statement which means that sometime in the future, He would do it. That is Hope. Whereas, Faith says ‘God has done it! It is already done now and you should start giving thanks. This is Faith! It is not the nonchalant way we say God has done it without really meaning it. It is a belief in God’s Word that if He said it, if He promised it to us in His word, then it is ours, it is done. It is that kind of belief (Faith) I am talking about.

One of the texts used often in the book is Mark 11:24 “Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you receive it, and it will be yours.” I was like, God, is it really that easy. He was like yes. And I am like but no one has ever really explained faith like this. How do I know that when I pray and ask, I really believe and I am not just trying to convince myself that I believe. Then He brought something to my remembrance that happened when I was a child. Let me tell you a story:

When I was younger, I always wanted to travel. In fact, I often prayed that a plane would land on our street and they would like me so much that they would take me along with them to ‘London’. Thank God He NEVER answered that prayer. I thought planes were the small images we saw in the sky. Now I know that if a plane lands on a small street like ours was, that spells disaster!  Anyway, back to my story. My dad’s friend Uncle Wole travelled often and always brought us chocolates. I would plead with my dad to allow us follow Uncle Wole whenever he was going back to the UK and my dad always said No!

On one of Uncle Wole’s trips to Nigeria, he had been to our house on three consecutive days and every day, I had bugged my dad and begged that he should please allow us go back to the UK with Uncle Wole. Lo and behold, my dad said ‘YES’. He was obviously trying to get me off his back but I had no idea. These were his words “Moji, Uncle Wole is leaving tomorrow and we are all going to London with him’. I held my dad by his words. I was very excited. I believed my dad. He said it, we were travelling. I remember running to my mum’s room with excitement and telling her. She smiled and said nothing (she obviously knew better). I was not going to let her lack of enthusiasm stop me. My dad had said we were travelling and that meant we were!

I went to my room and started packing the clothes I was taking on the trip. I was so excited….can you tell how excited I was? My sisters were not convinced but who cared. I believed my dad. The next thing I did after packing, I got out an Argos catalogue we had in the house and started marking out the things I was going to buy as soon as I got to the UK. The Barbie collection, Barbie house and some other toys. I wore myself out with excitement that I didn’t know when I slept off. Unfortunately, I didn’t realize that my dad wasn’t God and in the morning when I woke up, my dad said Uncle Wole had to leave very early and since I was still asleep, he had already gone back to the UK without me.

These are the things God taught me from the story:

1. If He said it, just believe it. He wanted me to just believe His word. Like Abraham in Romans 4:19 “And not being weak in faith, he considered not his own body now dead, already dead… neither yet the deadness of Sarah’s womb.” God did not want me to consider any previous medical history or what my body was saying. You see, as a child, I did not know that I required a visa to go to the UK, or that planning for accommodation and flights needed to have been made. I just held my dad at His word and that is what God wants us to do, hold Him at His Word. You need to have a scripture you are holding and presenting before God. He responds to His word. If you don’t have one, don’t just pick one randomly, ask the Holy Spirit to reveal your own scripture to you. He will!
2. Action….You have to put an act to your belief. Once my dad said we were travelling, what did I do? I started packing my clothes and planning what I would do while in the UK. We had not yet left Nigeria before I started planning. My action followed immediately. This is another place where we don’t necessarily know what action is required but that is why we have the Holy Spirit as our helper. If you ask Him, he would let you know what you need to do.

God said to me, it is that simple. Somehow, I wanted the whole process to be more complicated so that I could believe that I was actually doing something substantial. It all seemed too easy. One thing God had added to the things I learnt from my story was that after praying for my request, I should give thanks for answered prayers before the action. And anytime I wanted to pray about the request, it should be a prayer of thanksgiving because the request has already been answered.

This was all new to me. Come on, faith surely can’t be this easy. I kept reading Kenneth Hagin’s book and he explained something. He said once we ask God for anything that is in line with His Word, immediately/ the instant we ask, God answers. Now there are circumstances where that answer may not come immediately. This is how it is written in book:

“If I pray for any one thing or pray just one time for anything and I don’t get it, I start changing. I start changing because if I pray and that prayer isn’t answered, there will have to be a change on my part before the answer comes. I know there can’t be any changing on God’s part, because He never changes. So if there has to be any change, it has to be on my end of the line. So if I pray and do not receive, then I start changing”

The final part, which is Part 4 would be posted on Wednesday.

Faith For Fertility – Part 1

Faith For Fertility – Part 2

Faith For Fertility – Part 4